Homarism

Homarism is a religion which involves the worship of Great Nephrops, a giant lobster god. It is practiced widely in Humerland and Langoustinó. Homarism is named for the prophet Homarus, who, having been born in Basza roughly the first century.

Pre-Homarist
Homarism evolved from the earlier religion Astakism. This religion was formally founded in roughly -2,000, when the Prophet Edwardsii came to the people of Canciona and prophesied against the nation, saying that unless they repented, a plague of crabs would eat their crops, children, and livestock. To quote 1 Edw. 2:37-43:

'"I shall send a plague among you" says Great Nephrops. "A most terrible plague of crabs. They will eat your crops, and your children they will devour, if you do not turn to me in repentance"'.

The people did not do so, but the prophet Edwardsii led a small faction of repentant people across the Basza Gulf, which the Great Nephrops is said to have parted for them. They set up a country in what is now Humerlandish Basza. There, Edwardsii compiled the Law, including The Book of the Ordinances of Great Nephrops, The Book of the Services of Priests, and The (Book of) Rituals, as well as The Second Book of Edwardsii and the Other writings of Edwardsii.

The religion's name comes from the Baszaine astakós, or Lobster.

The country became a theocratic monarchy, with various kings ruling until roughly -650, when the Empire occupied it. During the monarchical period The Sayings of the King Palinurus were compiled, an excerpt being,

"If thy enemy doth do harm to thyself or to thine household, go though to the marketplace and buy thou oil and wood, and burn his house down" - Sayings 30:14

The religion was outlawed by the Empire, which resulted in many religious people going into hiding.

Early Homarism
Sometime in the first century, a man known as Homarus became a prominent teacher of Astakism. He called for major reforms to the religion and a return to the word and doctrine of Edwardsii. He and many of his followers were convinced that mission was necessary, so travelled around Basza preaching the Reform. Using the excellent roads and seaways of the Empire, the gospel reached Inutilia and Carthage within his lifetime, with churches in both. About this time he condemned the Empire's laws and was imprisoned for four years. During this time he wrote The Gospel according to Homarus and The revelation to Homarus. He was set free in the year 56, but was later apprehended and was executed in 69. His friend Bathynectos, a former Imperial centurion, became a missionary, went on a long journey to establish churches in Eleutheria, Valan, and what is now Borogravia. In his later life, he wrote the The life of the Prophet Homarus and The letter of Bathynectos to the Carthaginians, as well as The Gospel according to Bathynectos. He became bishop of Carthage in 78 and died the following year, aged 86.

Saint Picta was a Borogravian convert who became a Homarist during the Journey of Bathynectos. He was exiled from the country and fled to Eleutheria, where he strengthened the church there. During his time as a pastor in Eleutheria, he wrote the Books of Saint Picta, which refined Homarist doctrine, providing much of the basis for later iterations of the religion, and are considered by some to be the most important Homarist works. He was executed by the Empire in the year 102 by being fed to leopards in the arena. It is said that they refused to touch him, following which the emperor ordered men to spread him with mustard and threw him back in.

Saint Langouste is thought to have been born circa 30, and was converted to Homarism in his twenties. He was the last of the Great Disciples of Homarus; although he never saw him, he was the companion of Saint Picta and the last canonical founding father. He assembled The writings of Saint Langouste, a three-part history of Homarism and Astakism, and the oldest surviving book of jokes, one being:

Q. What's black and white and red (read) all over?

A. I don't know, but it sure as heck ain't the Book of the Conquest (the context: the Book of the Conquest [of Basza], set in the time of Edwardsii, was shunned by many of the more pacifistic Homarists as being too violent.)

Saint Amphipod was known to have taken a trip to the Orient in the year 200, including Alituria and Omari Robusuta, trying to establish churches in both. This failed in Alituria, but the Emperor in Omari favoured him and adopted the religion to some extent. Kanikaturo, the religion of Omari Robusuta today, is descended from this.

Saint Langoustine of Rhino (NOT to be confused with Saint Langouste) was the bishop of Rhino, a city in Cancionish Basza. His father was a pagan, but his mother a Homarist. He became a Homarist at age 30, and went into the ministry of Great Nephrops to become a bishop. He was an influential thinker and established various theories of appeasement of Great Nephrops and the bodily transformation into a lobster after Judgement. He founded the Order of Langoustine and the Library of Basza, and was canonised in 420.

Official Recognition
By the year 800 Homarism was being adopted by the upper classes in Carthaginian Homarus, part of modern Humerland. This followed the conversion of King Hanno II, who was convinced by his mother-in-law to paint lobsters on his men's shields before going to battle, with the victory having been attributed to this. He adopted Homarism as the state religion and himself was baptised. The first cathedral in Humerland was erected by him, and replaced by a gothic building in 1156, completed in 1300. Humerland thus became the first nation to adopt Homarism.

Synod of Spuds
In the year 967, a Synod was held in the town of Spuds, which stipulated and reiterated the doctrines put forth by the founding fathers, against attacks by the heresy Brachyurism, which stated that while Great Nephrops was a god, there was another, evil, god of equal power. This heresy was put forth by bishop Brachyura in the year 880. The synod stated, among other things, that the Great Nephrops was the most powerful being, and that he was neither good nor evil, but rewarded his followers. The synod posthumously stripped Brachyura of his position. It also rejected the canonical value of the Book of Memes, a book which had little relationship to the other books. It reasserted the value of the canonical books.

Certain aspects were not accepted by some members, leading to the Great Moulting (Schism) in which the church split in half, with Orthodox and Western Homarism parting way.

Halurian Orthodox is a variant of Orthodox Homarism, held by members who fled to Haluria (it is from this that Western Homarism is considered "Western")

Spread to the New World
Following the Great Moulting, various Orthodox Homarists were exiled from Homarus. Many went to other Carthaginian colonies such as Basza. Some ships may have gone off-course in storms when attempting to sail to Fictia. In any case, by 1100 Homarists were present in the New World, forming then nation known as Langoustinó. From them, a separate nation known as Lobisto grew, split off by the mid-1200s, and became a rival nation in the region. They had their own related religion, the Golden Lobster Cult, considered an offshoot of Orthodox Homarism. The two fought various wars until Lobisto and Lobistonian culture were absorbed by Langoustinó during the Langoustinian Wars in 1300-1600.

Doctrine
The essential tenets of Homarism were formally established in the Synod of Spuds.

The synod's articles stated:

We the bishops of the churches of the catholic faith of Homarism, do accept and hold to be true the following articles as the will of Great Nephrops:

Articles of Faith:

1) The True Lobster

We believe in Great Nephrops as the chief or only deity. We reject all worship as supreme of other false gods, and we are to have no other Lobsters before him. We may speak of other Lobsters, but they are but they are but lesser vassals of the True Lobster, Great Nephrops

[Note: the clause permitting other Lobsters was deleted by Western Homarism].

2) The Nature of the True Lobster

The Great Nephrops is not omnipotent, yet is greater than all other beings. He is not omniscient, yet is far wiser than all other beings. He is neither good nor evil, yet rewards those who serve him. He is eternal, immortal, and cannot die.

3) The existence of other deities, and angels

We believe in the existence of other Lobsters*, and also of Angels. All gods are immortal, and possess far greater power. Angels may reveal themselves, but have little power over the world. The angels are always prawns or krill, whereas deities are always lobsters, langoustines, or crabs.

We also believe in the existence of crayfish, which are demons.

We also believe in lobstareys, which are minor deities responsible for the management of small things. [lobstareys are held to be angels, not deities, in western Homarism]

4) The Afterlife

We hold to be true that, after the departure of a believer, his soul will go to heaven. In heaven, he may worship the lobster and take place among the court of Great Nephrops, and drink the wine urinated out of a lobster's eyes**.

Those who have been naughty are thrown into a vast pot of boiling water, along with all the demon crayfish, and are spiced with Cajun pepper and gumbo. At the end they are eaten by the largest demonic crayfish, leader of demons, known as Andrew, along with potatoes and baby corn. This repeatedly happens for eternity.

5) How Great Nephrops is to be served

We believe that Great Nephrops, as befits a lobster, is to be served with fear, trembling, lemons, parsley, and butter sauce.

The sacraments include the Great Cuisine, in which lobsters and other shellfish are eaten by believers, along with white wine (red wine does not go with seafood). Other canonical sacraments include the eating of bisque, and baptism, in which the Great Nephrops is said to reach down his claws from heaven and touch the new believer.

We must sacrifice a lobster each year to Great Nephrops to prevent him from eating everybody.

The role of priests is to mediate between the people and the translator lobster, who tells Great Nephrops.

6) The Holy Word of Great Nephrops

We believe that true word of Great Nephrops has been revealed, and that it is constituted of the books:

The book of Creation

The Law, including:

- The Book of the Ordinances of Great Nephrops

- The Book of the Services of Priests

- The Rituals

The First Prophecy of Edwardsii

The Second Book of Edwardsii

The Book of the Conquest

Other writings of Edwardsii

Hymns to Great Nephrops

The Sayings of the King Palinurus

The life of the Prophet Homarus

The Gospel according to Homarus

The Gospel according to Bathynectos

The first book of Saint Picta

The second book of Saint Picta

The writings of Saint Langouste

The letter of Bathynectos to the Carthaginians

The book of the Martyrs

The revelation to Homarus

7) Creation

In the beginning, the was a vast lobster. It gave birth to the gods and angels, and then died, becoming the world. It's blood become water, its shell rocks, its antennae plants, its eyes the Sun and Moon. The planets were formed by fragments of its shell, and the stars parts of its heart. Then, a vast crab known as the Great Spawner, gave birth to all sentient life.

8) The Judgement

We believe that, at the end, every single life form gets eaten by Great Nephrops. This can be held off by reducing his appetite using sacrifices, but is bound to happen eventually. After this judgement, all the believers become lobsters along with Great Nephrops and reign with him forever.

*not upheld by Western Homarism

**lobster anatomy is WIERD

These can be further summed as follows:


 * Great Nephrops is the most important, or only god. There are other lobsters, but they aren't as important.
 * Great Nephrops is neither all-powerful, nor all-wise, but is more powerful and wise than anybody or anything else. Also, he's not good or bad.
 * There are also other gods, as well as angels, demons, and minor spirits.
 * All believers go to heaven, where they worship Great Nephrops.
 * All infidels go to hell, and don't enjoy it very much.
 * We must serve Great Nephrops with how he decides.
 * The sacraments include the Great Cuisine, and baptism.
 * We must sacrifice a lobster each year to Great Nephrops to prevent him from eating everybody.
 * Priests mediate between believers and Great Nephrops.
 * There are some books which are considered canon.
 * A giant lobster died, causing the creation of earth, the gods, and life.
 * At the end, we worship Great Nephrops forever as lobsters, and everybody else disappears.

Differences between Western and Orthodox Homarism
Western Homarism believes exclusively in the existence of Great Nephrops and angels, rather than other deities. Some other deities are considered angels.

Western Homarism has a different structure, with pastors, bishops, and archbishops as well as priests. Places of worship are called Churches and Cathedrals rather than Temples.

Western Homarism recognises the monarch of Humerland to be the head of the church.

Related Religions
Kanikaturo - an Omarese religion known as the Red Crab Cult, involving festivals at times of red crab migrations

Great Star Lobsterism - Cancionish religion, originating before Edwardsii

Golden Lobster Cult - Cult based on Orthodox Homarism. Not recognised as a Homarist denomination due to rejection of doctrine concerning the afterlife and the identity of Great Nephrops